Special vs. Extraordinary

Don’t Sacrifice the Vital for the Trivial!

Are you driven to be special? To be recognized for a special talent, accomplishment or trait? Or just to be recognized for anything? Then here’s the question: Are you pursuing specialness at the expense of what is more powerful, lasting and true: extraordinariness?

There are 300 billion other stars in the Milky Way galaxy. And 500 billion galaxies in the universe. Earth is an incomprehensible speck. It’s less important than a single electron on planet Earth.

How do we handle that insignificance?

Before Copernicus in the 16^th century, people believed the sun was the center of the universe. No rational person can argue that now.

Our belief in that reality went beyond simply not having enough information back then. I would argue that the problem resides in our human brain.

The human brain’s mind is software. It’s software used to organize the world and ensure its survival.  To do that the mind is programmed to put itself at the center of everything. Everything is about it — us!

Assuming that you don’t really risk survival, what is the driving force of your software called your mind? When you’ve had all the food you can eat and no one is threatening to eat you, what is there to do with that powerful force called your mind?

The answer: Survival II. Your survival programming causes your mind to use your considerable intelligence to find ways to avoid the reality that we are not going to survive life. One way to do that: feel special.

We are driven to be “better than,” to feel significant because we are worthy of admiration. It almost seems as if we, as individuals, as part of a gender, class, religion, race, species “need” to feel special. And when we don’t feel special, we can get depressed and suffer with low self-esteem. Or we get more aggressively driven to be special. Look around the world and you’ll see just how aggressive that can get.

I admit, that is part of my motivation to establish myself as a speaker, author and creator of a LifeClub model that I hope will change the world.

Yet, it is oppressive to try to be special. It’s a relentless, losing battle. Because in this vast universe, as one of billions of other members of a species, we are not all that different. No talent or accomplishment can ever be enough for us to avoid the stark and poignant reality that we aren’t going to make it.

No one is really immune from the search for specialness — whether it is to find specialness in our role as parents, in our deeds, our accomplishments or in the characteristics we are born with. That is, until we transcend our mind programming!

How do you transcend your mind’s programming?

When you strengthen your higher brain, which is your ability to be self-aware, over your lower brain, which is your mind, you begin to transcend. That’s when amazing things happen. The self-centric, anthropocentric way of analyzing data, of seeing the world, changes.

That’s when extraordinary emerges.

“But hey, you just said we are only one in billions of members of a species, on a small planet in an incomprehensible vast, seemingly limitless universe. How do you find extraordinary there?”

By relooking at the facts. Realistically and objectively look at what had to happen for you to be here. Here are a few data points — none of which had to happen!:

·         The universe had to come into existence from a void of nothingness.

·         Matter congealed and exploded into trillions of stars.

·         On one remote galaxy, in its protective outer band, exists one planet at just the perfect distance from its star, with just the right nutrients and an abundance of a rare and unique molecule called water.

·         Those nutrients and water had to form into a replicable entity called life.

·         Life evolved via an astronomical number of accidents into such complexity that it woke up and came alive to know its own existence.

·         Your parents had to “meet.”

·         One sperm out of millions hit one egg out of hundreds.

·         And here you are. Born. Here. Now. Alive. Experiencing this miraculousness of this moment.

You won a cosmic lottery.

It doesn’t matter how many humans are alive or have been alive. It doesn’t matter how many other individuals of other species are alive — whether one-celled organisms or other primates. Any living thing faced astronomical odds to exist.

So, how insanely lucky are you to be a human who knows you are alive? Who is able to feel the extraordinariness of that knowing?  It doesn’t matter how many other people win a million dollars, you’d still be lucky to win it too.

And, to be born into this progressive, more humane century, in a millennium ripe with possibilities…

Don’t bother working or stressing to be special. It’s a terminal distraction! You are already extra-ordinary. Truly extraordinary!

Learn more about this at ZenBrainDoc.com.

The Third Jewel of Life

People, who need people, are the…well, actually, everyone!

The missing ingredient to a life of happiness, wellbeing and Enlightenment is the so-called “Third Jewel of Life”—community. Find out what this ancient structure and practice looks like when professionally-engineered using 21^st century principles and practices.

Have you heard of the three jewels of Buddhism: Buddha, Dharma and Sangha? These can also be thought of as the three jewels of life. “Buddha” represents the highest experience humans are capable of; Dharma, the path, the instructions to find your highest self; and Sangha, the community, the people you will need to actualize the instructions so you can find the highest experience of human existence.

This third jewel, the Sangha, is often misunderstood and given short shrift. In PsychologyToday.com and elsewhere in philosophy, mental health and wellness circles you’ll see lots written about our highest potential, about, say, what happiness is. I’ve written a few blogs on the subject myself. [links]

Then there’s lots and lots out there on how to find this highest level of being human. From the right physical formula, like why exercise is so critical or that perfect supplement. Of course, cognitive psychology offers much on happiness, as do books on finding the ideal relationship, living a moral life, bringing success into your life, finding your passion, not to mention spiritual paths and exercises. Again, I’ve written a book and have a website devoted to a wholistic version of these instructions.

There are lots and lots of instructions out there. Lots. Tons. Volumes. (You get the point.) There is no shortage of ways to tell people how to live and what to do to find the highest experience of life. So why is the world so filled with stress and unhappiness? Why has it been that way?  Buddha, Jesus, Ghandi, scores of other life masters from ancient to modern times have provided excellent examples of the destination. Tomes have been written about how to get there.

Yet, it is fairly safe to say that most people are not happy. Most people are stressed, frustrated by others, disappointed in life, and depressed on whatever level they wish to admit it. Rich or poor, young or old, man or woman, we all suffer life- no matter how much surface luck we bring to the table.

The missing ingredient is this third jewel: Sangha. Now, it is well-known that belonging to a close knit community is highly correlated with wellness and happiness. Yet, close-knit communities are not the answer to human strife. They have existed throughout human history. People in them still struggle with life, meaning and happiness.

Sangha or “community” can be redefined and engineered to the standards of 21^st century thinking on wellness and human potential. Such a modern Sangha would have several key elements.

First, there are the other members. This includes countless other fellow journeyers on a similar path of evolution. Within this larger group there must be a smaller group of intimates that are especially connected. I don’t mean group therapy. Just a smaller group of fellow journeyers who learn over time that supporting you and hearing your life stories without judgment enriches them. They need to share their intimate stories with you and the community to evolve themselves as well. A powerful culture of kind, nonjudgmental attention needs to be created.

This is a kind of post-modern, intentional “tribe.” Though it would be nice to form this with family and friends, usually it is best formed with an intentional group of people there just for that purpose. The tenets of communication, sharing and boundaries, the spirit of that specifically engineered group, can then be taken back to your family and friends so that they can relate in similar ways.  Leading this “intentional tribe” is a trained facilitator who knows how to nurture this experience.

In addition, this post-modern Sangha would be led by professionals with expertise in human potential. Their role is to provide a model for self-evolution, keeping everyone on-track towards their highest selves. Other professionals with specific expertise in wellness would be essential in teaching everyone how to create intense wellbeing. This would include, for example, experts in physical, mental or social wellness as well as the best ways to succeed in modern life.

For those inevitable times when you are stuck or even ill, this 21^st century vision would even include clinics staffed with professionals who can provide more direct assistance—from health care to financial, psychological, to consumer assistance.

There is a sea of self-help books and programs out there. Yet, there is nothing like a wholistic, comprehensive and professionally-engineered Sangha. It is the missing ingredient to most people’s happiness and wellbeing. The 21^st century “third jewel of life.” Find it, create it, do whatever it takes to join one, because that’s the channel, the conduit, to your highest self. It is the wings on which you will soar to life at its highest.

For more information on Dr. Skolnick and his SatoriWest LifeClubs go to SatoriWest.net/LifeClubs. 

Join us for a workshop at East West Bookshop this Saturday

Jeff is leading a workshop at East West Bookshop this Saturday at 11am. Click the link below to learn more. We'd love to see you there.

http://www.eastwestbookshop.com/events/6313

Best Treatment For Depression: Retrain Your Brain to Stop Stress From Overpowering Your Life

The SatoriWest LifeClub was designed to help people change their lives. It can help you be happier, healthier, more at peace and grateful. Watch this 2 minute video to learn more about the benefits of being in a LifeClub.

Click here to view the video

The video above walked through the benefits of a LifeClub. If you are still wondering what it means to be part of a LifeClub, the video below offers an overview of what the SatoriWest LifeClub is.

Click here to view the video

Powerful Brain Exercises: Can Life be Perfect?

Can life be perfect? Here’s some news: We’re all programmed to seek an ideal life, partner, job, income, family…self, etc., etc. It’s in our nature. So can we ever find perfection in any or all of those things? Or are we destined to be frustrated? The answer may surprise you…

Let’s establish two very important points.

First, every one of us struggles throughout life — some more than others. Even the one person on the planet who struggles the least still faces significant challenges — a poignant struggle — just because they’re a mortal human. It really isn’t easy being us…you!

Equally true, most humans are capable of living in blissful peace and a natural high — feeling fulfilled each moment. That’s been known since ancient times. Realizing this on some level, most of us yearn for the life of which we can only dream.

So, how do you get from one end to the other, from the distress that comes with being a human to the peak life of which people are capable? To help you begin that journey, let’s begin with this provocative question: Can life be perfect?

Most of you thinkers will immediately shake your head and say, “Of course not. Nothing is perfect.” Or, “What does perfect even mean? It’s not definable.”

Some of you more emotive readers will say, “Of course, everything is just perfect the way it is.” You know, the ”it’s all good” folks. (Of course, often that’s until is isn’t.)

To answer this crucial question, here are a few things you should know.

First, people tend to equate ‘perfect’ with ‘ideal.’ I think they’re different. ‘Ideal’ to me means that you have some preconceived vision.  That you are imagining an idyllic, quintessential, stereotypical best life or thing. Those notions usually get implanted into us from our childhood and popular culture, even though — dare I say  — we think they are our own.

Second, we are all — all of us — programmed to seek an ideal life, the ideal mate, children, parents, childhood, vacation, future, job, personality, outfit for the party…you get the idea.

Do those things exist?  No, actually. They’re only ideal in your mind. Some things may come close: “Hey, I do look good” or “Wow, my kids are awesome.” But this usually comes with a: “yes, but if only _____ were a bit more….”

Most of the time life, mates, children, parents, childhood, the future….you, don’t even come close to your hopes and expectations. We could all write a book on dashed hopes and expectations. (That happens, by the way, even when things go “well” by all accounts. Think about the unhappy lives of some rich and famous people.)

In other words, there is no ideal anything. Nothing in reality can meet the high bar your mind can create. Which is why many of you would answer my query with: “Absolutely not, life cannot be perfect.” And in a sense, you’d be right.

However, ’perfect’ can mean something else. It can mean some inherent, built-in quality that something has just because it exists. You can see this the easiest when you’re truly in-love.

When you’re in-love with a person, place or thing, such as a baby, a lover or a house, that helps you come closest to seeing its “perfection.” You love “your old house” not in spite of the fact that it isn’t modern or big, but because you see its quirks as having charm or warmth — maybe loaded with memories. When you’re in-love, you appreciate the fact that your lover has some body feature others wouldn’t find all that appealing. To you it makes him or her “cute.” The baby’s pooping and peeing is adorable when you’re in-love with it (a condition usually reserved for grandparents).

So, I ask you again, can life be perfect?

Yes, if you’re in-love with it! That’s the key to blissful peace and a natural high. To feeling fulfilled each moment.

So, what does it take to experience life that way??? That $64,000 dollar question has everything to do with how you align your brain!

If you want to begin realigning your brain, so you can find the perfection in your life, I have a free video series you can watch. It includes two deceptively simple, yet powerful brain exercises. Find them at ZenBrainDoc.com. 

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Help with Depression and Anxiety as We Get Older: An Inevitable Fact or Transformative Opening?

The fact is that biological depression is a part of life for millions of older adults. Yet, that may be the tip of the iceberg for a syndrome that blends into the common experience of practically everyone who reaches older ages. Ancient wisdom combined with new scientific evidence sheds a light on how the inevitable struggle of aging—even biological depression—can be turned into your best life possible. 

“In a spiritually sensitive culture, it might well be that age is something to be admired or envied.” Rowan D. Williams

Major Depression (aka: clinical depression) is a brain disorder. A terrible condition that can strike at any age; yet, it is estimated that there are seven million older adults with depression in the U.S. An added five million have what’s known as a “subsyndromal” depression—meaning they have depression symptoms but don’t meet enough official criteria to get the diagnosis. What that means is that there are an awful lot of people in what ought to be the golden years of life dealing with dreadful sad and nervous moods and/or having sleep and energy difficulties, losing desire or pleasure in even basic things such as eating and being with others, dealing with increased aches and pains, and having awful thoughts about life and themselves.   

In the midst of all the symptoms of this insidious illness, there lies something that may be equally disturbing. It may or may not surprise you to hear that at the core of all depressions are psychological issues that are common to practically everyone as we get older.  I’ll explain.

Children can totally immerse themselves in a fantasy world. Even as they grow up and into young adulthood, they can still live in a form of fantasy—that their lives will last forever. Even the first inklings of “Oh my gosh, I’m turning 30,” can be easily distracted from at that age.

Eventually, the distractions and denial collide with reality—the reality that everyone and everything we love and cherish including our own existence will be gone. Reaching retirement, the death of friends and family, the loss of looks and abilities with increasing medical conditions, these are all intrusions into that youthful fantasy which can lead to what the poet Thoreau called “lives of quiet desperation.”

Add the increasing vulnerability to brain chemistry imbalances and the twelve million older adults with known and reported symptoms of depression may just be the tip of the iceberg.

So is this the inevitable outcome of leading a human life—that our older years are bound to be fraught with grief and the stress of aging, which also raises our odds of having a clinical depression? The answer is not only “no,” the outcome can be the opposite…if it’s played right.  

Examples abound in both religious and nonreligious circles of individuals who, in their older years, are endowed with such wisdom and heightened maturity that they find peace and contentment they had never known before.

Then, looking to the East, there’s the classic story of Siddhartha Gautama, known as the Buddha who, having grown up insulated, was exposed to old age, sickness and death in a way that shocked and depressed him. (Remind you of the more gradual anguish that comes from getting older?) Using that heightened awareness, he Awakened himself to a reality that has been described as Nirvana, an ecstatic realization that brought him to a higher level of living than he had ever imagined possible.

So what does this myth—if it is actually all a myth—have to do with clinical depression in older adults? Plenty. Because there was a Siddhartha and he did realize something that has been passed down faithfully over thousands of years to modern times: that suffering can spur great Awakening. And that great Awakening reveals the mystery and amazement of life every second we are alive.

Now granted Major Depression is a brain disease. However, as much as we know about the biological causes of depression, we are learning more and more about the potential of the brain (called neuroplasticity) to undergo radical change at any time of life. Any time of life!

Let’s put two and two together: The brain can get sick and cause depression. The brain can also be trained to radically evolve into a great Awakening—a stage of extraordinary maturity known to a small segment of the population for thousands of years. It means a blissful excitement and appreciation for life and pleasant tranquility all the remaining days of your life.

Ergo, get the sick brain well with:

·         Complementary healthcare (blending alternative healthcare with conventional medicine)

·         Modern life and wellness practices (all the things you’d learn in the self-help section of a bookstore, from diet advice to how to organize clutter to ways to manage stress)

·         Meditation or contemporary brain exercises used for the same purpose as meditation (the subject of my book and workshops)

Of course, you need a clear and concise game plan, based on brain sciences, complementary psychiatry and modern life-wellness. And all of it has to be geared specifically for the purpose of promoting the highest stages of brain development known (that is, “Awakened” levels).

So, that’s how it is technically done. The inevitable suffering and shock of advancing age—even clinical depression—can be used for transformation into unimaginable appreciation, meaning and life-satisfaction.

Yet, to be able to implement this rigorous game plan there must be structures in place for community support, professional guidance and education in a variety of areas. However, regardless of the difficulty and need for a clear plan and support structures, the larger point is that nothing can take away from the heartening fact that negativity around aging can be transformed into a better, brighter and more amazing experience of being alive.

Sound like pie in the sky? Many major discoveries, like human flight, were based on what was possible. Just as flight revolutionized human society, heightened brain development has the potential to significantly transform how we look at aging.

Jeff Skolnick, MD, PhD is author of the book Awaken Your Brain and can be found online at www.SatoriWest.net.