Special vs. Extraordinary

Don’t Sacrifice the Vital for the Trivial!

Are you driven to be special? To be recognized for a special talent, accomplishment or trait? Or just to be recognized for anything? Then here’s the question: Are you pursuing specialness at the expense of what is more powerful, lasting and true: extraordinariness?

There are 300 billion other stars in the Milky Way galaxy. And 500 billion galaxies in the universe. Earth is an incomprehensible speck. It’s less important than a single electron on planet Earth.

How do we handle that insignificance?

Before Copernicus in the 16^th century, people believed the sun was the center of the universe. No rational person can argue that now.

Our belief in that reality went beyond simply not having enough information back then. I would argue that the problem resides in our human brain.

The human brain’s mind is software. It’s software used to organize the world and ensure its survival.  To do that the mind is programmed to put itself at the center of everything. Everything is about it — us!

Assuming that you don’t really risk survival, what is the driving force of your software called your mind? When you’ve had all the food you can eat and no one is threatening to eat you, what is there to do with that powerful force called your mind?

The answer: Survival II. Your survival programming causes your mind to use your considerable intelligence to find ways to avoid the reality that we are not going to survive life. One way to do that: feel special.

We are driven to be “better than,” to feel significant because we are worthy of admiration. It almost seems as if we, as individuals, as part of a gender, class, religion, race, species “need” to feel special. And when we don’t feel special, we can get depressed and suffer with low self-esteem. Or we get more aggressively driven to be special. Look around the world and you’ll see just how aggressive that can get.

I admit, that is part of my motivation to establish myself as a speaker, author and creator of a LifeClub model that I hope will change the world.

Yet, it is oppressive to try to be special. It’s a relentless, losing battle. Because in this vast universe, as one of billions of other members of a species, we are not all that different. No talent or accomplishment can ever be enough for us to avoid the stark and poignant reality that we aren’t going to make it.

No one is really immune from the search for specialness — whether it is to find specialness in our role as parents, in our deeds, our accomplishments or in the characteristics we are born with. That is, until we transcend our mind programming!

How do you transcend your mind’s programming?

When you strengthen your higher brain, which is your ability to be self-aware, over your lower brain, which is your mind, you begin to transcend. That’s when amazing things happen. The self-centric, anthropocentric way of analyzing data, of seeing the world, changes.

That’s when extraordinary emerges.

“But hey, you just said we are only one in billions of members of a species, on a small planet in an incomprehensible vast, seemingly limitless universe. How do you find extraordinary there?”

By relooking at the facts. Realistically and objectively look at what had to happen for you to be here. Here are a few data points — none of which had to happen!:

·         The universe had to come into existence from a void of nothingness.

·         Matter congealed and exploded into trillions of stars.

·         On one remote galaxy, in its protective outer band, exists one planet at just the perfect distance from its star, with just the right nutrients and an abundance of a rare and unique molecule called water.

·         Those nutrients and water had to form into a replicable entity called life.

·         Life evolved via an astronomical number of accidents into such complexity that it woke up and came alive to know its own existence.

·         Your parents had to “meet.”

·         One sperm out of millions hit one egg out of hundreds.

·         And here you are. Born. Here. Now. Alive. Experiencing this miraculousness of this moment.

You won a cosmic lottery.

It doesn’t matter how many humans are alive or have been alive. It doesn’t matter how many other individuals of other species are alive — whether one-celled organisms or other primates. Any living thing faced astronomical odds to exist.

So, how insanely lucky are you to be a human who knows you are alive? Who is able to feel the extraordinariness of that knowing?  It doesn’t matter how many other people win a million dollars, you’d still be lucky to win it too.

And, to be born into this progressive, more humane century, in a millennium ripe with possibilities…

Don’t bother working or stressing to be special. It’s a terminal distraction! You are already extra-ordinary. Truly extraordinary!

Learn more about this at ZenBrainDoc.com.

The Third Jewel of Life

People, who need people, are the…well, actually, everyone!

The missing ingredient to a life of happiness, wellbeing and Enlightenment is the so-called “Third Jewel of Life”—community. Find out what this ancient structure and practice looks like when professionally-engineered using 21^st century principles and practices.

Have you heard of the three jewels of Buddhism: Buddha, Dharma and Sangha? These can also be thought of as the three jewels of life. “Buddha” represents the highest experience humans are capable of; Dharma, the path, the instructions to find your highest self; and Sangha, the community, the people you will need to actualize the instructions so you can find the highest experience of human existence.

This third jewel, the Sangha, is often misunderstood and given short shrift. In PsychologyToday.com and elsewhere in philosophy, mental health and wellness circles you’ll see lots written about our highest potential, about, say, what happiness is. I’ve written a few blogs on the subject myself. [links]

Then there’s lots and lots out there on how to find this highest level of being human. From the right physical formula, like why exercise is so critical or that perfect supplement. Of course, cognitive psychology offers much on happiness, as do books on finding the ideal relationship, living a moral life, bringing success into your life, finding your passion, not to mention spiritual paths and exercises. Again, I’ve written a book and have a website devoted to a wholistic version of these instructions.

There are lots and lots of instructions out there. Lots. Tons. Volumes. (You get the point.) There is no shortage of ways to tell people how to live and what to do to find the highest experience of life. So why is the world so filled with stress and unhappiness? Why has it been that way?  Buddha, Jesus, Ghandi, scores of other life masters from ancient to modern times have provided excellent examples of the destination. Tomes have been written about how to get there.

Yet, it is fairly safe to say that most people are not happy. Most people are stressed, frustrated by others, disappointed in life, and depressed on whatever level they wish to admit it. Rich or poor, young or old, man or woman, we all suffer life- no matter how much surface luck we bring to the table.

The missing ingredient is this third jewel: Sangha. Now, it is well-known that belonging to a close knit community is highly correlated with wellness and happiness. Yet, close-knit communities are not the answer to human strife. They have existed throughout human history. People in them still struggle with life, meaning and happiness.

Sangha or “community” can be redefined and engineered to the standards of 21^st century thinking on wellness and human potential. Such a modern Sangha would have several key elements.

First, there are the other members. This includes countless other fellow journeyers on a similar path of evolution. Within this larger group there must be a smaller group of intimates that are especially connected. I don’t mean group therapy. Just a smaller group of fellow journeyers who learn over time that supporting you and hearing your life stories without judgment enriches them. They need to share their intimate stories with you and the community to evolve themselves as well. A powerful culture of kind, nonjudgmental attention needs to be created.

This is a kind of post-modern, intentional “tribe.” Though it would be nice to form this with family and friends, usually it is best formed with an intentional group of people there just for that purpose. The tenets of communication, sharing and boundaries, the spirit of that specifically engineered group, can then be taken back to your family and friends so that they can relate in similar ways.  Leading this “intentional tribe” is a trained facilitator who knows how to nurture this experience.

In addition, this post-modern Sangha would be led by professionals with expertise in human potential. Their role is to provide a model for self-evolution, keeping everyone on-track towards their highest selves. Other professionals with specific expertise in wellness would be essential in teaching everyone how to create intense wellbeing. This would include, for example, experts in physical, mental or social wellness as well as the best ways to succeed in modern life.

For those inevitable times when you are stuck or even ill, this 21^st century vision would even include clinics staffed with professionals who can provide more direct assistance—from health care to financial, psychological, to consumer assistance.

There is a sea of self-help books and programs out there. Yet, there is nothing like a wholistic, comprehensive and professionally-engineered Sangha. It is the missing ingredient to most people’s happiness and wellbeing. The 21^st century “third jewel of life.” Find it, create it, do whatever it takes to join one, because that’s the channel, the conduit, to your highest self. It is the wings on which you will soar to life at its highest.

For more information on Dr. Skolnick and his SatoriWest LifeClubs go to SatoriWest.net/LifeClubs.